How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce

As a parent, you want nothing more than to protect your kids and shield them from life’s most challenging moments. But when you’re going through a divorce, this can be extremely difficult. 

Delivering the news of your divorce is an important conversation, and one that you and your soon-to-be-ex need to prepare for together. Here are some important things to remember as you approach your kids about your divorce:

• Make a plan – Decide with your spouse how, when, and where you plan to tell your children about the divorce. Right before bedtime or on the way out to work or school is not when you should bring it up! Find a time when everyone can be together, and allow space for processing and asking questions. 

• Develop your main message – Your kids’ ages will dictate how you should approach the topic of divorce, but no matter their age, it’s essential that they understand the divorce is not their fault. They are still very much loved by both parents and will always be cared for even though the relationship between you and your spouse is ending. 

• Set blame aside – Now is not the time to play the blame game and call out all of your spouse’s wrong-doings. When talking to your kids, try to maintain a unified message as you explain why you need to separate. 

• Talk about the future – Your kids will naturally want to know what’s going to happen to their family. Explain as best you can what will change and what will stay the same. You will not have all the answers, but be honest with them and reassure them they are loved no matter what. 

Talking to your kids about divorce is hard. Expect it to be hard on them too. Give them time to adjust and answer their questions truthfully. Your kids need love, support, and reassurance during this major life change. Don’t be afraid to seek help for you and your kids to help ease the transition.If you are considering a divorce, we can help make this difficult time in your life just a little bit easier. Call us to schedule a confidential case evaluation.