By: Dr. Gisell Lopez, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Since every person is different, it is only natural that different issues would surface for someone in a divorce situation. What I will discuss is a brief overview of the common themes I have seen in my practice as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist offering therapy and life-coaching services. To begin, I’d like to apply the quote from ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
One of the first things I support divorced clients with is the grief of losing the past life that used to be. With that, feelings of sadness and frustration may come up. Thoughts about: What could have been? What could I have done differently?, may surface. I encourage my clients to allow themselves that grieving process and support them in moving through it. The only way out is through!
The second aspect is going through the tunnel, the process of the divorce proceedings, especially when children are involved, there can be ups and downs. This can be a difficult time in which support is essential. Going through the dark, scary, uncomfortable tunnel means eventually you will see the light.
The third thing many of my divorced clients experience is: What now? Once they reach that light, there can be some hesitance or insecurity that comes up. That would be the future is anxiety part of the quote. The main thing is to focus on the present moment because truly that is all we have. It is important to start dreaming into and planning a new vision for life after divorce. I work with clients on taking committed action towards the future vision, one day at a time.
Dr. Gisell Lopez is a bilingual licensed clinical psychologist with over 15 years of experience in Therapy, Life-coaching, Academic Testing & Psychological evaluations. Find out more about Dr. Gisell Lopez here: https://www.drlopezisin.com/about