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How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

If you’ve decided that you want to get a divorce, you need to tell your spouse. This will be a challenging conversation that needs to be handled with a lot of care. While each situation is unique, these tips will help. 

Make Sure It Is What You Really Want

Before you tell anyone that you want a divorce, make sure there is no other option. A marriage is not something to end on a whim. If possible, go through marriage counseling and other steps so you are confident that you tried everything you can to save the marriage. Not only will this allow you to say you tried everything, it will also likely make the conversation easier since both parties will know that true efforts have been made.

Talk to an Attorney

Every divorce is unique and should be approached differently. An attorney will have the experience necessary to help give you guidance on how to begin your divorce. Depending on the situation, we may advise you to file for divorce before alerting your spouse if there is likely to be conflict. In many situations, it is better to talk to the spouse first to allow for a less combative divorce. Either way, contact us to discuss your situation prior to telling your spouse that you will be filing.

An attorney will also let you know what type of divorce may be right for your situation so you can file the proper legal petitions with the court when the time comes. The options in Florida are a petition for a simplified dissolution of marriage, a petition for dissolution of marriage with dependent or minor child(ren), a petition for dissolution of marriage with property but no dependent or minor child(ren), or a petition for dissolution of marriage with no dependent or minor child(ren) or property.

Choose the Time & Place Wisely

No matter how well you have rehearsed the conversation in your head, it is not going to go exactly as planned. There will be a lot of emotions, which can be expressed in many different ways. With this in mind, make sure you plan to have the conversation at a time when you won’t be rushed, and in a place where others won’t be around. If you have children, make sure they will be out of the house for several hours.

Be Direct and Clear

Finally, when you are actually having this discussion, it is important to be very direct and clear. While there is no need to unnecessarily hurt your spouses feelings, it is worse to be ambiguous. Explaining to your spouse that you have done everything you can to fix the marriage and nothing worked, it is now time to begin the process of ending the marriage. You can provide reasons during this conversation if you believe it would be helpful, but sometimes it is best to simply alert your spouse of your intent to divorce, and what steps you will be taking, and leave it at that.

Divorce is never easy, but if you take the time to handle this conversation appropriately, you will be handling it in the best way possible.

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Author Bio

Vanessa Vasquez de Lara is the founder and owner of Vasquez de Lara Law Group, a Miami family law firm. With over 20 years of experience in family law, she has zealously represented clients in various legal matters, including divorces, child support, child custody, alimony, and other family law cases.

Vanessa received her Juris Doctor from the University of Miami School of Law in 2002 and is a member of the Florida Bar Association. She has received numerous accolades for her work, including being named to the 2015 Super Lawyers Rising Stars and the 2016-2023 Super Lawyers list.

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