Divorce is one of those significant life events none of us plans on going through. While intellectually we know we’ll make it through to the other side, that doesn’t discount just how difficult and anguishing it can be to get there. Not to mention, it doesn’t prepare us for how different the “other side” may look.
For many people, our very identities are wrapped up in who we were as a married person – a spouse, a parent, a mixed-doubles tennis partner. You were a pair and now you are not.
How do you untangle each aspect of your life and rediscover yourself as a newly single person?
While it may require you to be vulnerable and take new risks, little by little, you will find joy in your life again. Here are a few tips some of our clients have used to begin afresh with their post-divorce life:
● Be present – Admittedly, when all you want to do is move on with your life, it can be hard to slow down and heed mindfulness advice, but those who are present with themselves and accept everything they are feeling – the good, bad and ugly – are giving themselves permission to grieve, heal and ultimately move on in the healthiest way possible.
● Reflect on your younger self’s ambitions – Before you were married, what passions did you pursue? Reconnect with those perhaps long-since-buried dreams and consider diving back into old hobbies and pursuits that used to really excite you. By the same token, don’t be afraid to try something totally brand new.
● Ask an expert – Sometimes we all need a little guidance and advice, especially when our minds may be clouded by our own emotions. Talk to a therapist, find a life coach, or join a support group with peers and professionals who can help you see your future from a new perspective.
● Shake up your look and routine – How we look has a big influence on how we feel. Get a haircut, change up your wardrobe and fully embrace the freedom to reimagine your look and your health. Now is also the perfect time to recommit to healthy habits.
Finding joy after divorce doesn’t happen overnight, but you will get there and be stronger because of it.